What My Last Relationship Taught Me

We all have stories about our exes. We've all had our hearts broken at least once. I don't regret any of my heart breaks because they've shaped me into the woman I am today. Shout out to my exes for being a part of my life and teaching me valuable life lessons. **No shade is intended in this post**

1. You can't force things: At the end of the day, we all have free-will and can do whatever we want. You can't force anyone to talk to you or spend time with you. If they don't want to talk to you, they're not going to. Bottom Line: If you have to force it, it's not for you. We all deserve someone who will put forth effort and give us the same love we give. 

2. You can't change anyone: Go into a relationship knowing what you're getting into. Don't enter into a relationship with the mindset that you can change him/her or that if they love you, they'll change for you. You will surely get hurt thinking this way! You should be with this person because you love them for who they are and how they make you feel. A person is not a project, so don't treat them as such. Bottom Line: You can't change anyone but yourself

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3. Don't let your partner disrespect you: Respect is everything! Don't allow your partner to speak to you sideways, disregard your feelings, or abuse you physically or emotionally. These actions can affect your outlook on relationships and may ultimately cause you to view yourself in a negative way. Quite frankly, if they don't respect you, you shouldn't be with them. Bottom Line: It's better to be by yourself than with someone who doesn't appreciate you or treats you badly. You're stronger than you think and you can find someone who adores you! 

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4. You can forgive, but don't be stupid: Forgiveness and patience are a huge part of relationships. Sometimes, we hurt each other without even knowing it. Even though forgiveness is key, you must also know when your kindness is being taken advantage of. If your partner is continuously doing the same thing, they're not sorry. They've figured out that you're going to keep forgiving them, so what's the point in changing. Bottom Line: Don't give out too many chances and don't allow yourself to be a doormat. 

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5. You must be willing to compromise: You can't get everything that you want in a relationship, but the good things should outweigh the bad. Also, there will come a time in your relationship where your partner asks something of you. Don't be so quick to dismiss it! If he/she tells you that they don't like it when you _____, evaluate whether it's a valid point. If this request is harmless and doesn't take away from who you are, you should consider it. But, don't allow this person to completely control you. Bottom Line: Only you know what you're willing to do. But, remember to compromise when necessary.  **Compromising doesn't make you weak**

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6. Don't let social media dictate how you feel about your relationship: Nowadays, it's easy to get upset if your partner doesn't post about you enough or if he/she likes someone else's picture. But, if you can't trust your partner, you shouldn't be with them. Bottom Line: Social media shouldn't have power over your relationship and if it does, you should reevaluate your relationship.

7. Choose your battles: Everything doesn't warrant a response. Bottom Line: Some things aren't important enough to start an argument over. 

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8. Know when it's time to let go: Breathing life into a dead situation won't change the fact that it's lifeless. Know when you've had enough and walk away. Bottom Line: Staying won't change the situation and it will most likely cause more harm. 

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The most important thing to remember is that you are in control of your life! Every relationship isn't going to work out the way you want it to. But, remember that everything will work out the way it's supposed to. 

With love and power,

Jada Lee